


I Don't Know How To Love Him

by Spazzin



Series: Love is Strange [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alphys Is A Goid Friend, But She Doesn't Realize It, But When She Does She Feels Really Guilty, Demiromantic Mettaton, Mettaton Has No Idea How To Deal With Feelings, Multi, Undyne Can Be A Dick, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 04:55:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10210052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spazzin/pseuds/Spazzin
Summary: Mettaton is really upset about something, Undyne starts to realize that maybe - just maybe - she's kind of a dick, and Alphys is a mom friend.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic and One And Only are a set - both deal with Papyton realizing heir feelings and confiding in a trusted friend about them.
> 
> Okay, I really just have a lot of feelings about the dynamic between Mettaton, Alphys, and Undyne post-pacifist. Like Mettaton is the robot son whose lizard mom just got back in the dating pool and found a new fishy girlfriend and he's salty.

All Undyne wanted was a quiet evening of Attack On Titan and Chill with her girlfriend - no, her fiance. And she wouldn’t even have the “and Chill” tonight if the sight on her sofa was any indication.

And not only was her beloved waifu-to-be NOT in home from work yet, but who should be posing most un-dramatically across the sofa but one Sexy Robot, Mettaton?

To say that Undyne was irritated would be an understatement on ANY given day that “that damned sparkly tin can” was within her immediate vicinity, but on THOSE days she was just being a one-man 80s glam rock benefit concert.  Today he was being a wangsty little emo bubblegum shit. Like an unholy hybrid between Tamaki Suoh and Sasuke Uchiha.

Oh, that damned sparkly tin can was in for it this time.

But then said can made a pitiful, realistic sob. And since Undyne was a Monster, not a dick, she decided not to express her irritation with the can by crumpling him against her forehead.

“Get the hell off my couch, Mettaton,” she growled.

“I don’t wanna…” he moaned.

“Well I didn’t wanna kick the best striker off the soccer team until his piss-poor grades improve, but guess what I did.”

“Kill me…” he whimpered.

“Tempting, but no. Alphys would be upset if I did.”

“Where is Alphys…?”

“Why do you care?” Now Undyne was suspicious.

“I need to talk to her…”

“About what? Didja break a nail?”

“I wish I had…”

Okay, now he sounded like Napstablook. What the fuck was going on.

“Okay, talk to me, Tin Man. Why so emo?”

“You don’t really care…”

“True. Now tell me what the fuck is wrong.”

“No…”

“What, do you not trust me or somethin’?”

“Not with this…”

“Why the fuck not, huh? Is it cuz I hate your shiny metal guts? Is it cuz of that one time I replaced your shampoo with toothpaste?”

“Just go away, Undyne. I already told you I don’t want to talk to you about this. Now please...just...just get off my back for once. I already feel terrible enough as it is, and I don’t need you making it worse!” He started outright bawling with all the grace of a drunken flamingo.

Undyne paused at this. She wasn’t THAT hard on him, was she?

Was she…?

That was when the door opened and Alphys walked in.

There was awkward silence intersected with robotic sobs.

“Undyne w-what did you do?”

“Wha- Aw, c’mon, Alphy, he was already like this when I got here!”

Alphys stared at her skeptically.

“I’m actually telling the truth this time! He was fucking whining when I got here!”

Alphys was not really sure why she bothered sometimes. Her girlfriend and her best friend hated each other so much. Why, she had no idea. It was hate at first sight.

“And w-why is that?”

“He wouldn’t fucking tell me! Somethin’ about not trustin’ me and me makin’ it wor -”

“ALPHYS IT’S ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE! WHERE WERE YOOOUUU?”

Mettaton was sobbing. Like really, genuinely sobbing. Tears, snot, a little bit of drool even. Undyne silently commended Alphys for the idea of sparkly mucus.

“I-I was at work...M-my boss wanted my input on something a-and it took a bit longer than either of us expected...I’m sorry...”

“It’s okay, Alphy.” Mettaton sniffled - no, he snorted. “These things happen sometimes.”  
Undyne had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing. Surely Alphys didn’t actually believe this asshole?

“I-I know, b-but I’m still sorry for making you both w-wait on me, I-I should’ve called you -”  
“Babe,” Undyne interjected, “chill. It’s fine. You apologized, we accepted. We can be done now.”

Alphys breathed deeply.

“Th-thanks. U-um, Mettaton, w-would you like s-s-something to drink?”

He’d started crying a bit harder at some point. He wiped his visible eye with the meat - err, metal of his ungloved palm, and wiped at his snotty nose with his forearm.

Undyne took a sort of secret pleasure in seeing him all sad and gross.

Wow. Putting it like that made her sound like...a dick.

“I-I’m fine, darling, t-thank you…”

Undyne knew that Alphys would probably get him some water anyway.

Aaaand she was right.

“Y-you don’t have to t-talk about it yet. T-t-take your time.”

Alphys was surprisingly good at comforting people. Undyne supposed it came from all that work with the Amalgamates.

Alphys would make a great mom…

WHOA. Put THAT thought away for the rest Undyne’s life. They’d only been engaged for, what, two months?

Mettaton sipped at the water. It was at this moment that Undyne could see just how busted up his problem was making him.

She never thought a robot could look exhausted. But Mettaton was an actor. That could have something to do with it.

Whatever it was, it was really, really hurting him.

Man. Undyne was kind of a dick.

But she did this sort of thing a lot, didn’t she? Assume things about people based on first impressions on second, third, even FOURTH-hand accounts and act on the assumptions? She’d done it with Frisk and not only was she proven wrong about Frisk, but she had been proven wrong about Humans in general. For the most part. Some of them were still jerks. But there were plenty of good Humans out there, too.

* * *

 

And that’s how Alphys, Undyne, and Mettaton ended up on the couch watching Howl’s Moving Castle.

Their reactions to Howl’s breakdown differed widely.

Undyne snorted and called Howl a “fuckin’ pansy-ass drama queen” under her breath.  
Alphys’ eyes sparkled, very much aware of where such a moment was to lead Howl and Sophie’s relationship.

Mettaton’s reaction to the scene was completely different from his usual reaction. Usually he’d be verbally accosting Undyne’s supposed insensitivity - “Not everyone can accept having a greasy wad of yarn for hair, sweetheart.” Then the verbal battle would quickly become physical and Mettaton would need repairs and Undyne would need bandages and ice packs and Alphys would have a LOT of furniture and a Mettaton to fix.

But not this time. His reaction was silence. Pure, unadulterated silence with barely even a sniffle. He wasn’t even watching the movie. He was staring blankly at the screen in exhaustion, his mind elsewhere.

Undyne took the remote and paused the movie.

“U-Undyne, what the hell!” Alphys scolded.

Undyne ignored Alphys and glared at Mettaton. “Okay Tin Man, you’re lookin’ more blue than pink and it’s really not a good look for you. Now what’s wrong, and be real about it. Or else.”

Everyone was silent. No sound came from the group, save for Undyne’s angry huffing, Alphys’ nervous claw-clicking, and Mettaton’s sad fan-whirring.

Mettaton sighed. “You want to know so badly? You’re that desperate to mock me, Undyne? Fine. I’ll tell you what’s wrong.”

“Hey, that’s not why I -”

“I have feelings for someone, okay? And not the sexual kind this time - okay, those are there too, but -”

He inhaled sharply.

“I...I have romantic feelings for someone.”

Alphys and Undyne stared at him.

“So fuckin’ what?” Undyne said dismissively. “You caught feelings for someone. You wanna spend time with ‘em and kiss ‘em and all that mushy junk. Big fuckin’ whoop.”

“Undyne, this is serious!” Alphys snapped. Before Undyne could properly express how taken aback, Alphys continued to speak. “Not everyone expresses romantic attraction toward someone immediately, sometimes not ever. And when someone experiences it for the first time it-it can be pretty terrifying.”

Undyne blinked a few times. She thought for a bit. She knew that romantic and sexual attraction were not the same thing - they were sometimes mutually exclusive. So why was she being pissy about it right now?

She didn’t have much more time to think on it when Alphys started talking to Mettaton.

“S-so when exactly did you realize that you had f-feelings for this person?” she asked, calm despite her stutter.

Mettaton relaxed slightly. Apparently Undyne’s words had caused him to start crying again. “A few hours ago. I dropped by his place for a surprise visit and…I realized I was having fun. I wasn’t even trying to get in his pants, and yet -”. Mettaton huffed out a laugh of incredulity at himself. “I had the time of my life. We weren’t even doing anything besides watching some movies, maybe a bit of cuddling and leaning on each other, but -” He swallowed. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and I-I don’t kno-kno-know wh-wh-wha-what to-to do-do-do -”

Mettaton flung himself into Alphys’ arms and started bawling. His voice was…glitching. Undyne felt a weight not unlike the one she felt when she realized that she had been wrong, not just about Frisk, but Humans in general for the most part. This was really troubling Mettaton. Undyne felt really bad, but she had never been good at verbally expressing apologies, not directly at any rate.

She could at least try to make it up to him. Maybe she could convince the guy to go out with him! Yeah! Maybe that could win her enough points with Alphys to move the wedding date up closer to Undyne’s birthday!

“So who’s the lucky guy, eh?” Undyne questioned. “What kinda Monster is he? Oh who am I kidding, he’s a Human, ain’t he? Do ya want me to force him to date you?”

Mettaton suddenly became a bit…shy? Well, he WAS a Blook, ALL Blooks were a little insecure about SOMETHING deep down.

“What, do I not know ‘im?” Undyne said. “Tell me where he lives, I’ll punch him until he dates you! If it’ll get you to stop cuddling my wife!”

Mettaton mumbled something under his breath.

“Could you say that a little more clearly, I didn’t hear you.”

“It’s Papyrus, okay Undyne? I have romantic feelings for your best friend and I know how much you hate me and overprotect him and shit and - and I -”

Mettaton’s breath caught in his throat.

“I’ll just go now,” he said, his voice surprisingly weak. “I told you I didn't trust you with this Undyne, and now you know why. Thank you for hearing me out. I’ll be on my way.”

Before Undyne or Alphys could get a word in edgewise, Mettaton had left.

He must have been really upset about this if he didn’t even use the window.

Undyne and Alphys were silent.

“Alphys.”

“Hm.”

“Am I really that much of a dick to Mettaton? Please be honest with me.”

Alphys seemed to suddenly get nervous. She seemed to be debating her answer.

“W-well, yes and no,” she managed. “Y-you can be pretty, um...judge-y, about some people. I-I mean, you’ve definitely been doing better at that, but it’s still a thing.”

Undyne blinked a few times. She sighed wearily. “I had a feeling…”

* * *

Whenever he got too depressed, Mettaton detached himself - very literally - and laid back and felt like garbage.

He sighed. He always liked to look how he felt - for almost all Ghost Monsters, this was an innate need. Mettaton just took that need a few steps further than most.

So he was separated from his corporeal form for the time being.

He decided to listen to some music.

*Will you be there in the morning~ Will you be there when I want you~ Will you be there when I -*

Switch the song. Switch it. Too relevant.

*Can I lay by your side~ Next to you~ To you~*

Ugh. Switch again.

*Turn down the lights~ Turn down the bed~ Turn down these voices~ Inside my -*

Okay one more and he was going to break something.

*I~ Don’t know how to take this~ I don’t see~ Why he moves~ Me~ He’s a man~ He’s just a man~*

“And I’ve had so many~ Men before~ In very many ways~ He’s just one more~”

No. Of course he wasn’t “just one more”. Papyrus was different. He genuinely enjoyed Mettaton’s company - not just for the star factor, and it wasn’t mere tolerance either. Papyrus really liked spending time with him. He was so warm and fun and bright - like a sunrise, perhaps.

Perhaps Papyrus potentially felt the same way he did? If he did, he sure did a great job of hiding it.

But Mettaton wasn’t one to give up so easily. Sure, these feelings were new to him - wasn’t feeling in general new to him at one point? And he had been a source of hope for an entire people at one point - and Papyrus had been one of them! If anyone had to have hope, it was The Amazing Mettaton!

*He scares me so~ I want him so~ I love him so~*

What Mettaton was feeling for Papyrus wasn’t quite “love”. Whether it would come to that or not was up to chance. But for now, the (admittedly childish) term “like-like” was accurate enough to describe the emotions.

For now, he would be fine.

**Author's Note:**

> I Don't Know How To Love Him - Jesus Christ Superstar  
> Will You Be There In The Morning - Heart  
> Lay Me Down - Sam Smith ft. John Legend  
> I Can't Make You Love Me - Bonnie Raitt


End file.
